What does this mean
In the Cambridge dictionary, it states that Authenticity Is the quality of being real or true:
But what does this mean to you?
If you are in tune with yourself and know who you are, then being authentic is your natural state of being. You will be in touch with how you feel and what is right for you and you will be able to speak your mind when something does not feel right for you.
From my perspective, growing up I was taught (indirectly) that putting others needs before myself was the way to survive. Throughout my childhood and early adulthood, I truly did not know what I wanted or how I felt about things.
When I was older externally, I appeared to have a successful life. I had a family that loved me, children and a good career in management. But I always felt empty inside. When something negative happened, I could not understand how I felt in that moment, and it would take time for my feelings to rise to the surface. At times I felt that I was going crazy.
- I would agree with people around me and go along with what others wanted.
- I was seen as easy going and fun to be around.
- I took responsibility for others feelings and felt that I could speak my truth in case this hurt others – which would be my fault.
Inside I was dying, vulnerable and alone.
To become the person I am today has taken work both internally and externally. I have had to learn what I believe and what things are important to me.
I have developed boundaries and can negotiate with my significant others and the rest of the world in general. I now live an authentic life which at times can cause conflict with others, but I have learnt tools to be able to process my feeling healthily. By being my self, it also supports and allows others to be themselves around me because I accept who they are.
How do you learn to be authentic • Essentially it takes work especially if you have spent your life hiding in the shadows. • You will need to define your core beliefs negative and positive • Question why you have those beliefs and think the way you do • With support, you will be able to change your negative beliefs and develop more empowering ones Please also be aware that as you start to develop your self, it will at times be scary.
You learnt to be inauthentic for a reason, a way of surviving in relationship to the others around you. Don’t give up though because step by step you will evolve into a more balanced happier person. I have included a worksheet for you to download to support you in learning more your authentic self.